People who are like each other, tend to like each other.
Do you agree with the above statement? Think back on your experiences personally and professionally. Who in your life do you have a good rapport with? Is it someone with whom you have something in common? Or is it someone with whom you disagree at every turn? Chances are that you tend to have a better rapport with people who are more like you than people who are completely different from you.
What about “opposites attract?” We’ve all heard the relationship adage that opposites attract and the truth is that differences can be attractive and exciting. When people have a lot of differences, there can be a lot of fire and spark in the relationship. The problem is that the “heat” in the relationship can easily turn to conflict and disagreement. Unless there is common ground, a relationship of pure opposites can be difficult to sustain.
At the same time, if there is only sameness, there is no growth. This concept is evident in the idea that if we both always think the same, then one of us isn’t necessary. In a relationship, there needs to be a balance of similarity versus differences in order to create enough stability based on commonality as well as enough variety based on our differences.
In terms of establishing rapport, creating a sense of connection and familiarity is most easily achieved by creating a feeling of similarity. You have probably done this many times in your life without thinking about it. When people meet for the first time, they tend to ask questions about each other’s past until they come up with something that they have in common. These questions focus on where you’re from, what you do, where you went to school, or identifying your favorite sports team, and they are designed to find something in common.
When that common ground is established, conscious rapport is created. The commonality allows the individuals to feel that “this person is just like me” which makes it okay to like that person. This experience is called conscious rapport because it is a connection that the individuals are aware of consciously.
Filed under: NLP | Tagged: Communication, NLP, Rapport
