One of the most effective ways to establish rapport is by matching and mirroring a person’s communication. This refers not only to what a person says but also to how they say it along with their body language.
In 1970, Robert Birdwhistell published a study suggesting that the words we use to communicate account for only 7% of our communication. The remaining 93% of our communication is expressed through voice tonality (38%) and physiology (55%). While there is some debate over the accuracy of these percentages, the importance of nonverbal communication is clear. To see for yourself, do the following exercise.
Pretend for a moment that you are at work and someone says to you “Thanks a lot.” Do you believe that they are sincere in their appreciation? Next, imagine that someone is saying the same thing, only this time they say it sarcastically and are rolling their eyes. Do you still feel appreciated?
The truth is that what we say is not nearly as important in communicating information as how we say it along with our nonverbal communication. In essence, the words we use provide the content of our communication and our nonverbal communication provides the context. Content is always dependent on the context in which it is presented.
Using this information, you can establish rapport with someone by matching and mirroring their words, voice tonality, and physiology. Future posts will take a look at exactly how to do that.
Filed under: NLP | Tagged: Communication, NLP, Nonverbal Communication, Physiology, Rapport
